


Strange Witnesses

by Ongaku_Ato_Kakikomi



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:21:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24058912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ongaku_Ato_Kakikomi/pseuds/Ongaku_Ato_Kakikomi
Summary: A store gets robbed, and the only witnesses seem to be two twins who are annoying the heck out of Rosa... so now Jake has no choice but to interrogate them.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 75





	Strange Witnesses

Jake jumps up when Rosa suddenly hits her fist on his desk, the man almost spilling his coffee on himself.

“Well, good morning to you too, Rosa.”

“ **I’ve** **been questioning the witnesses of our theft case for five minutes and** **I’m already annoyed.** ” She hands him her file while squinting her eyes. “You question them instead.”

“What- Rosa, I just arrived!”

“I don’t care. I might kill them, so you do it.” She then walks past ginger twins who are grinning at her, the woman squinting her eyes them. “ **Go** **talk to him.** ”

“Rosa, I do not agree with this- goddammit.” He sighs and shakes his head before he makes a move towards the twins. “Just come here, please.”

“Well, this day is just getting better, isn’t Fred?”

As one of them sits down on the free chair in front of him, Jake notices their English accent. And surely, Rosa’s notes tell him that they’re both from London, right before she wrote the words ‘ _FREAKING_ ** _CRAZY’_** with a red circle around it.

_Crazy_ _tourists, huh. Shouldn’t be too intense._

“Yes, it is, George. Look at us, standing in a Muggle’s police station. Dad would be quite jealous, wouldn’t he?”

“Alright, I see here that you’ve come to help us with a case.” Jake gives them a smile. “What are your names?”

“Like we told the lady earlier, my name is George Weasley.”

“I’m Fred Weasley.”

Jake nods while continuing to read Rosa’s notes. “And I’m guessing you’re only visiting Brooklyn?”

The twins’ grins stretch out.

“So you’ve noticed the accent, huh?”

“We’re only here to check out materials for our shop back in London.”

“Really like the city, though. We’ll have to come back, Fred.”

“Well, yes, of course, George.”

“Wait.” Jake frowns in confusion, pointing at one of the twins. “I thought you were George.”

“No, silly. I’m Fred.”

“And I’m George.”

“This looking alike never helps us, does it?”

“People keep wondering which one’s which, it’s very troublesome.”

Jake is about to say he’s sorry when the two of them laugh.

“We just got you, mate. Of course I’m not Fred, I’m George!”

“And _I’m_ Fred. Gosh, this is funny every single time.”

“Twins pranks.” Jake can’t help his own smile to grow. “ _Awesome._ ”

Fred points at Jake. “I like you. You’re the first one who likes this simple prank.”

“You know what, Fred. Maybe we should ask dad a little more about Muggles.”

Jake shakes his head, then goes back to the file. “It’s detective for you two today. Also, you say you might have witnessed a theft that we’re currently working on?”

“Yes, the one who stole all the jewelry in that Muggle shop.”

“We were at the prankster shop on the other side of the street, we saw everything.”

“Oh, so you can describe the thief?”

“Nah. He was wearing a gorilla mask.”

“Very original. Never seen that before.”

“But you see, he touched our Portkey.”

“Which is very inconvenient, cause we needed it to go back to London.”

“And we _will_ be in big trouble when we’ll come back.”

“Because a Muggle had access to a Portkey.”

“I knew we shouldn’t have left it parked on the street.”

Jake quirks an eyebrow. “So the thief stole the jewelry and… your Portkey?”

The twins both nod. “ _Yes._ ”

“And what is a…. Portkey?”

“Well, mate… we can’t really describe it to a muggle like you.”

Jake starts to not like the word “muggle” very much since it seems like it might be degrading him of some sort in some contexts.

“…but we’re guessing that for you, it would look like what you call… a bicycle?”

Jake blinks at them for a few seconds. “A… bicycle.”

“ _Yes_.”

Even though twins just talked at the same time, Jake is too lost into all their recent information to even let out an excited scream.

“So… the thief stole the jewelry and the bicycle.”

“ _Yes._ ”

“And you want us to take it back?”

“Oh, don’t be silly, mate.”

“We know exactly where it is.”

“And where is it?”

“ _Back_ _in London._ ”

Jake is at loss of words.

“The Portkey either takes you to Brooklyn or in London.”

“And since we’re already in Brooklyn.”

“The Portkey took the thief and the stuff he stole to London.”

Jake looks between them. “So you’re saying that the thief is in London?”

“Yeah, but not for long.”

“See, mate- Sorry, detective. We’re gonna go back to London by Apparition and Disapparition.”

“Then we’re gonna find the thief at the exact spot he arrived with the Portkey-”

“And we’re gonna send him back to the Muggle jewelry shop with the Portkey he stole from us.”

“Then we don’t know. We might come back to destroy the Portkey or something.”

“Or give it back to our dad. We did steal it from him in the first place.”

Jake sighs, suddenly understanding why Rosa wrote what she did on the file and why she gave him the responsibility to question the twins.

“Well, then. That’s great!” Jake stands up from his place, handing out his hand. “Thank you for this information, sirs. It’s gonna help us a lot.”

George shakes his hand, a huge grin on his face. “Oh, no need to thank us.”

“Yeah, we’re just trying to make this world a better place.”

“Plus, we were going to correct our mistake anyway, so might as well make you know that your thief is gonna be back on the same street he disappeared.”

“And what a thoughtful thought.” Jake shows the way towards the elevator. “Have a great day, misters.”

“ _You_ _too, detective._ ”

Okay, no matter how weird those guys are, this talking at the same time thing is really cool.

Jake shakes his head as they walk away, the detective turning his head back at them one last time. He sees one of them wink at him from inside the elevators while the other waves. Jake is about to wave at them too while the door slowly closes, until Fred (or is it George?) touches his brother’s shoulder and both of their forms distort to finally disappear.

Jake’s eyes go wide. “What the-”

“ _Jake!_ ” Rosa grabs him by the arm and drags him towards the elevator. “We gotta go!”

“Huh? Why?”

“Our thief is back.”

“What?”

Jake gives Rosa a look as she pushes the elevator’s button. “Where is he?”

“Same shop as yesterday. He apparently just appeared out of nowhere with all the things he stole plus a random bicycle.” Rosa gives him a weird look, not quite understanding the situation herself. “The man doesn’t seem to remember what happened for the last week either.”

“This… is weird.”

“Yep. Too bad you talked to those witnesses for nothing.”

Jake isn’t so sure about that.


End file.
